


we're there now

by brucewaynery



Series: iron man bingo fills [6]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 22:43:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20125054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brucewaynery/pseuds/brucewaynery
Summary: Peter can't sleep, all he can think of is the building falling on him. It's stupid, but he can't help the dread that fills every pore.Tony's there for him.(for the 'Peter Parker' square on iron man bingo, post hoco)





	we're there now

**Author's Note:**

> i cant remember the timeline of hoco but may doesnt know that peter's spiderman now, this is very much a paternal type of relationship

Fuck fuck fuck, this is dumb. This is so stupid, he can go to sleep, of course he can, he’s 15, that’s basically ‘adult’, if babies can do this, so can he. 

Peter wonders, as he stares up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, if babies imagine building falling on top of them, or The Vulture flying towards them every time they close their eyes.

He tells himself to stop it. He’s being stupid. He knew what he was getting into when he put the suit on, he supposes the sheer dread and anxiety just comes with the job.

He gives up on sleep altogether and crawls out of his window to sit on the fire escape in the suit. Just in case. At least, this way, he’ll be more useful than just shaking in bed. May has a night-shift tonight, so he can’t go to her. But even then, what would he say, to explain?

He can’t get over how damn stupid this whole thing is, superheroes have it hard (and he barely even counts as a ‘superhero’ as it is) and he should expect that, hell, compared to Mr. Stark and the rest of the Avengers, he has it easy, there’s no-one forcing him to drink, he has an aunt who loves him and a roof over his head and meals on the table, he’s not in an economic depression or in a war, he’s perfectly able, he doesn’t even need glasses anymore, he hasn’t had to run away to the circus or anything, he’s fine really. 

But he still can’t fucking sleep.

Every time he closes his eyes, he thinks he’s going to die all over again, dread saturates every cell he has, all the empty space in his atoms cram full of fear, until that’s all he is, and it’s all he can think of, and see, it’s invading his senses, thick and acrid and he’s trying to breathe, trying to get some air to scream, but his diaphragm and his intercostal muscles have given up, trying was pointless anyway, there’s no oxygen, just smoke and rubble and the screech of metal and all he has is a fucking onesie--

“_Hey, hey kid, you’re okay, you’re at home, you’re in an apartment Queens, you’ve lived there for the past decade, you’re okay, you’re alive, Pete, you’re alive and safe._”

“Mr- Mr. Stark?” Peter gasps out, wrenching his eyes open, the mask feels wet, with his tears, he realises.

“Yeah, kid, I’m here, well, not physically, but I can, if you want,” Mr. Stark is speaking low and quiet, calming, and Peter really wants him to be here.

“Please?” He hates how needy he sounds, he can’t prove he’s good enough for the Avengers if he’s like this after his first proper mission, but right now he wants Mr. Stark here, he knows what to do.

“I’ll be there in 5, but I’ll stay on the phone, ‘kay, Pete?”

“Yeah,” he says, shakily.

“You want to talk about it?”

“I can’t sleep,” Peter blurts out, he’s curled up in the foetal position on the fire escape at 2 am, telling Tony Stark that he can’t sleep. This is ridiculous. But before he can reply, Peter carries on, “It’s just, every time I close my eyes, all I can see is that building, but I know that I’m at home and this apartment complex is actually pretty stable, for being so old, and it’s not going to fall, but every time, I just see it,” his eyes have fallen shut again, senses blind to anything that’s not Mr. Stark talking, calming and quietly, right in his ear.

He’s exhausted, he leans back, expecting to hit against the brick wall, but jolts as arms catch him. _Mr. Stark_

“Hey, hey, kid, I got you,” he says, somehow managing to get them both of them back inside with minimal bumping. 

He puts him on the bed and leans him against the wall, slipping the mask off, and presses a water bottle to his lips. Peter drains it, he hadn’t realised how thirsty he is until he has the water. 

“Does this mean I can’t be Spider-Man anymore?” Peter asks. That’s one of his biggest fears, he has these powers, these powers that literally anyone could’ve gotten, and everything in him tells him to help people, to use whatever this is for good. And if he can’t do that, then what’s the point?

Mr. Stark’s just looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face, “Pete, you can still be Spider-Man, this doesn’t have to change that. I’m going to tell you a secret, okay, everyone I know, everyone in the Avengers has some sort of… something, this, this job, it’s not easy, especially up here,” he taps his temple.

“Kid, you gotta understand that none of this makes you weak, or a ‘bad Spider-Man’, yeah?”

Peter nods his agreement, hearing, still working on believing.

“Anytime something like this happens, anything, big or small, call or text me, okay, I promise you I’ll be there, you don’t have to do this alone” Tony knows that he’s gonna have to try harder, to be there for Peter. In an ideal universe, he wouldn’t have to go through any of this, but at his heart, Peter’s a hero, probably the best of all of them, and that means that he’s not going to stop, like himself, and that he’ll always get up, like someone else he knew.

“Promise?”

“I promise, kid,” Tony says, pulling him into a hug.

“I guess we’re there now,” Peter mumbles, arms tightening around him.

“Yeah, kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! any comments/kudos/[ are greatly appreciated <33](https://ineffablestarkrogers.tumblr.com/post/186795525216/were-there-now)


End file.
